Why are they being released? (August edition)

A new segment where I question why certain films were ever given a budget to be made and released to the general public. These films will no doubt make money for the people that financed them which makes me worry about the decline of Western civilization as this means a lot of people will have paid good money to see these films at the cinema.

The Expendables 2:

Explosive action with a bunch of over the hill actors with a wafer thin plot if the first film is anything to go by. They have added Liam Hemsworth and Yu Nan as if that will solve all the problems the first one had. The only thing missing is Steven Seagal and his knitted hair.

Keith Lemon: The Film:

Keith Lemon realistically has only a few jokes that eeks out over a 40minute show (with adverts) on Celebrity Juice so it's going to be difficult to make something that is funny throughout for 90mins. If you are going to watch this film then you know exactly what to expect but don't be surprised if you are disappointed.

The Three Stooges:

An updated version of the classics that had a charming and likeable quality whilst the new version just seems to be over the top slapstick. The film features cameos from member of the TV show Jersey Shore for reasons I don't think anyone can explain. By the way, that is not Jim Carrey on the left of the picture above.

Total Recall:

As far as remakes go this year, Hollywood will do well to make a worse choice than this. Colin Farrell takes the tiny amount of acting talent he has into a remake of a very popular film first time round. Do yourself a favour and just buy the original on Blu-Ray.